I know the kitties are cute, but let’s not get distracted…it’s Story Time!
I’m reading Louis Armstrong’s biography, Pops, and something he said really struck me. Joe Oliver was his idol, and he got to play in his band. However, as Louis grew as a Trumpet player, he realized that he could out-play Joe. “Knowin’ that my tone was stronger than his, see, I would never play over [i.e, higher than] Joe. That’s the respect I had for him, you know?” Louis put his mentor first, and refused to outshine him, even though he knew he could.
The other day I was teaching a student who had taken many ballroom classes and had just started learning lindy hop. He made an interesting comment about the show Dancing with the Stars, that it was very easy to tell who the new male professionals were on the show, because they would totally outshine their partners. They had just come from the top of the competitive ballroom world and when dancing with their “stars” they would completely outshine them. He continued that, you could tell the veteran professionals, as they would reduce their movement in order to match their “stars” level and help their partner to shine.
In another conversation with Daniel Young, I learned that he had not always taken such good care of his partners which shocked me because of what a wonderfully gracious and caring lead he is today. He used to try all the flashy moves, the ones that usually involve your partner standing there for quite some time until Steven Mitchell pulled him aside to talk to him about dancing with his partner. Daniel said that he changed the way he approached the dance and he is one on my favorite leads because what what good care he takes of his partners.
I was very intrigued by this idea of taking care of your partner, especially realizing that some people do take care of their partners and some definitely don’t. At Lindy Diversion, I had the opportunity to ask Steven about this, as I had heard a story of how Steven had a similar talk with Skye, that he had with Daniel. When I asked, Steven laughed to himself and said that he was teaching a class at an event with many of the good dancers of the day. Skye was there, and Steven asked him to come out to the middle and dance for the class. He did, and right after he finished, Steven announced to the class, “And, that is what not to do.” What he was talking about was not leaving your partner behind as you danced, and instead trying to dance WITH them! And, I really think you can watch the youtubes and see Skye’s dancing change.
All of these stories have concentrated on leads, but follows can fall into this same trap too. Not so long ago, I had tons of variations I would do, and I would do them regardless of the move, the lead, or the music. Not such a great idea, eh? Maybe I am being a bit harsh on myself, but really, what I was dancing and doing was not dependent on my partner. I really feel like your partner should affect what you do in the dance. Or, you are just being really selfish.
Last year at Lindyfest, Peter and Ramona taught a class inspired by a dance that Ramona had with Frankie in 1999 (pasted below). When you watch the video, you see Frankie dancing with Ramona. And, it is beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes watching it and hearing Ramona talk about how kind and caring of a lead Frankie was.
As Frankie would always say on the swingout rock step: “Bow to your queen.”
Maybe leads and follows feel pressured to “do cool things,” and “look cool” to those watching. But, honestly whenever I put those worries behind and let go and try and dance with my lead, and he does the same for me, it is a feeling that words can’t even describe. Doing tricks in competitions that completely leave your partner behind, throw your partner completely off balance, or ignore your partner for several 8 counts are not cool.
Instead, why not dance like this! Below are some great videos of the master himself 
Frankie and Erin, 1989
Frankie and Dawn at Lindyfest 2007
Frankie and Ramona, 1999
Frankie and Lee, Sing, Sylvia, 1997
Along the same line, you will notice in each of these videos, Frankie pays attention to his follow, he looks at her and watches her face and her dancing, and thereby can evaluate the direction he will go with his. It is disheartening when the lead does not even look at you, as if he does not even care who he is dancing with. (And, of course that goes for the follow too). I think the lead/ follow connection covers the facial contact as well as the body connection. It is so much more fun dancing with someone when you can get the nuances from their eyes and body language as to where the dance is going to go. Paying attention in this way is respect for your partner as well. And that is my two cents….